I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
