drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
