a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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