Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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