Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
