what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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