Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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