Its about making memories worth repressing
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
