I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
