and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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