Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
