He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
