I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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