the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize