True but thats because hes a fetus.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
