it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
third nipple confirmed
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
