your room smells of hookers.
And success
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
