I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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