So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
