I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
