Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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