My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
