we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
