i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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