You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
