I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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