So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Actions speak louder than pants.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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