This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
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she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
His nipple licking is glorious
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