Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
