She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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