never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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