Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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