Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
