i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
