Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize