is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
