ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
