Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
