Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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