They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
