When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
