i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
