What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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