Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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