When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
you made out with another girl for some wings
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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