It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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