She went from zero to smokin in five shots
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
