ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
