Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
