Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
