the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
