dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
