Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
