why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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