i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
