What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
