It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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