Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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