she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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