She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
