We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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